50+ Best Terry Pratchett Quotes Of All Time To Remember [2022]

Best Terry Pratchett Quotes Of All Time

There is nothing that a Terry Pratchett book can not assist you with. By studying his humor and wisdom intertwined so nicely, you can set your finger on any page of his novels and find something you can laugh at and find reality.

It is a pity the literary world mourns the Discworld founder’s passing; below are a few of the best inspirational and memorable Terry Pratchett quotes.

Whether you require guidance, expect, or merely a fantastic chuckle, these quotations are sure to bring a grin to your face along with the decision to get through anything life throws at you.

Best Terry Pratchett’s Inspirational Quotes


Terry Pratchett Quotes If You Could Use Some Sage Advice

1. It’s vital to remember who you really are. It’s very important. It isn’t a good idea to rely on other people or things to do it for you, you see. They always get it wrong. – Terry Pratchett, (Sourcery)

2. Evil begins when you begin to treat people as things. – Terry Pratchett, (I Shall Wear Midnight)

3. If you don’t turn your life into a story, you just become a part of someone else’s story. – Terry Pratchett, (The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents)

4. Look, that’s why there’s rules, understand? So that you think before you break ’em. – Terry Pratchett, (Thief of Time)

5. If you trust in yourself…and believe in your dreams…and follow your star…you’ll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren’t so lazy. – Terry Pratchett, (The Wee Free Men)

Terry Pratchett Quotes If The Holidays Seem To Pass By Faster Every Year

6. Time is a drug. Too much of it kills you. – Terry Pratchett, (Small Gods)

7. The whole of life is just like watching a film. Only it’s as though you always get in ten minutes after the big picture has started, and no one will tell you the plot, so you have to work it out all yourself from the clues. (Moving Pictures)

8. Coffee is a way of stealing time that should by rights belong to your older self. – Terry Pratchett, (Thud!)

Terry Pratchett Quotes If You’re Getting Ready To Go Back To School

9. His philosophy was a mixture of three famous schools the Cynics, the Stoics and the Epicureans and summed up all three of them in his famous phrase, ‘You can’t trust any bugger further than you can throw him, and there’s nothing you can do about it, so let’s have a drink.’ – Terry Pratchett, (Small Gods)

10. The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it. – Terry Pratchett, (Diggers)

11. Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on. – Terry Pratchett, (Hogfather)

12. It’s still magic even if you know how it’s done. – Terry Pratchett, (A Hat Full of Sky)

Terry Pratchett Quotes If You’re Having An Existential Crisis

13. God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players [i.e. everybody], to being involved in an obscure and complex variant of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won’t tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. – Terry Pratchett, (Good Omens)

14. In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded. – Terry Pratchett, (Lords and Ladies)

15. What have I always believed? That on the whole, and by and large, if a man lived properly, not according to what any priests said, but according to what seemed decent and honest inside, then it would, in the end, more or less, turn out all right. – Terry Pratchett, (Small Gods)

16. Seeing, contrary to popular wisdom, isn’t believing. It’s where belief stops because it isn’t needed anymore. (Pyramids)

17. Goodness is about what you do. Not who you pray to. – Terry Pratchett, (Snuff)


19. Nanny’s philosophy of life was to do what seemed like a good idea at the time, and do it as hard as possible. It had never let her down. – Terry Pratchett, (Maskerade)


Terry Pratchett Quotes If You’re In A Good Mood And No One Can Stop You

20. Joy is to fun what the deep sea is to a puddle. It’s a feeling inside that can hardly be contained. – Terry Pratchett, (A Hat Full of Sky)

Terry Pratchett Quotes If You’re Feeling Hopeless And Need Encouragement

21. Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving. – Terry Pratchett, (A Hat Full of Sky)

22. There have been times, lately, when I dearly wished that I could change the past. Well, I can’t, but I can change the present, so that when it becomes the past it will turn out to be a past worth having. – Terry Pratchett, (I Shall Wear Midnight)

23. Sometimes glass glitters more than diamonds because it has more to prove. – Terry Pratchett, (The Truth)

24. There’s always a story. It’s all stories, really. The sun coming up every day is a story. Everything’s got a story in it. Change the story, change the world. – Terry Pratchett, (A Hat Full of Sky)

25. The worst thing you can do is nothing. – Terry Pratchett, (Snuff)

Terry Pratchett Quotes If You’ve Fallen In Love And Can’t Snap Out Of It

26. A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores. – Terry Pratchett, (The Fifth Elephant)

27. And what would humans be without love?
RARE, said Death. – Terry Pratchett, (Sourcery)


Terry Pratchett Quotes If You’re Contemplating Mortality

28. It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it’s called Life. – Terry Pratchett, (The Last Continent)

29. He’d been wrong, there was a light at the end of the tunnel, and it was a flamethrower. – Terry Pratchett, (Mort)

30. Do you not know that a man is not dead while his name is still spoken? – Terry Pratchett, (Going Postal)

31. Anyway, if you stop tellin’ people it’s all sorted out afer they’re dead, they might try sorting it all out while they’re alive. – Terry Pratchett, (Good Omens)

32. We who think we are about to die will laugh at anything. – Terry Pratchett, (Night Watch)

Funny Terry Pratchett Quotes If You Could Just Use A Laugh

33. All tapes left in a car for more than about a fortnight metamorphose into Best of Queen albums. – Terry Pratchett, (Good Omens)

34. Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying ‘End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH’, the paint wouldn’t even have time to dry. – Terry Pratchett, (Thief of Time)

35. The entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks. – Terry Pratchett, (Equal Rites)

36. Give a man a fire and he’s warm for a day, but set fire to him and he’s warm for the rest of his life. – Terry Pratchett, (Jingo)

37. It was sad, like those businessmen who came to work in serious clothes but wore colorful ties in a mad, desperate attempt to show there was a free spirit in there somewhere. – Terry Pratchett, (Making Money)

38. Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind. ― Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man

Terry Pratchett Quotes If You Have A Love/Hate Relationship With Your Cat

39. If cats looked like frogs we’d realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That’s what people remember. ― Terry Pratchett(Lords and Ladies)

40. I meant, said Ipslore bitterly, what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?
Death thought about it. CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE. ― Terry Pratchett

Other considerations:

Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one. ― Terry Pratchett

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this. ― Terry Pratchett

In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this. ― Terry Pratchett

So much universe, and so little time. ― Terry Pratchett

Freedom without limits is just a word. ― Terry Pratchett

All right, said Susan. I’m not stupid. You’re saying humans need… fantasies to make life bearable. ― Terry Pratchett


Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Little— ― Terry Pratchett

There is a rumor going around that I have found God. I think this is unlikely because I have enough difficulty finding my keys, and there is empirical evidence that they exist. ― Terry Pratchett

I mean, I wouldn’t pay more than a couple of quid to see me, and I’m me. ― Terry Pratchett

You have to have really wide reading habits and pay attention to the news and just everything that’s going on in the world: you need to. If you get this right, then the writing is a piece of cake. ― Terry Pratchett

I’ll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there’s evidence of any thinking going on inside it. ― Terry Pratchett

Fantasy is an exercise bicycle for the mind. It might not take you anywhere, but it tones up the muscles that can. ― Terry Pratchett

The enemy isn’t men or women, it’s bloody stupid people and no one has the right to be stupid. ― Terry Pratchett

Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first and is waiting for it. ― Terry Pratchett

It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It is in fact true. It’s called living. ― Terry Pratchett

The reason that the rich were so rich, Vimes reasoned, was because they managed to spend less money.

Take boots, for example. He earned thirty-eight dollars a month plus allowances. A really good pair of leather boots cost fifty dollars. But an affordable pair of boots, which were sort of OK for a season or two and then leaked like hell when the cardboard gave out, cost about ten dollars.

Those were the kind of boots Vimes always bought, and wore until the soles were so thin that he could tell where he was in Ankh-Morpork on a foggy night by the feel of the cobbles.

But the thing was that good boots lasted for years and years. A man who could afford fifty dollars had a pair of boots that’d still be keeping his feet dry in ten years’ time, while the poor man who could only afford cheap boots would have spent a hundred dollars on boots in the same time and would still have wet feet.

This was Captain Samuel Vimes Boots theory of socioeconomic unfairness. ― Terry Pratchett

It cannot be said often enough that science fiction as a genre is incredibly educational – and I’m speaking the written science fiction, not ‘Star Trek.’ Science fiction writers tend to fill their books if they’re clever with little bits of interesting stuff and real stuff. ― Terry Pratchett

Taxation is just a sophisticated way of demanding money with menaces. ― Terry Pratchett

Of course I’m sane, when trees start talking to me, I don’t talk back. ― Terry Pratchett

If you have enough book space, I don’t want to talk to you. ― Terry Pratchett

Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time. ― Terry Pratchett

I think I work much harder on the children’s books. I suppose I enjoy that. I find it interesting that although there are more than 30 books in the Discworld series, it is the four that were written for children which have won the awards. I’ve never been quite certain why this is. ― Terry Pratchett

Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual. ― Terry Pratchett

They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it’s not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance. ― Terry Pratchett

I’d rather be a rising ape than a falling angel. ― Terry Pratchett


Writing is the most fun you can have by yourself. ― Terry Pratchett

If you ignore the rules people will, half the time, quietly rewrite them so that they don’t apply to you. ― Terry Pratchett

No one’s policing their own minds more than an author. You spend a lot of time in your own head analyzing what you think about things, and philosophy comes. ― Terry Pratchett

Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil… prayer, fasting, good works, and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. ― Terry Pratchett

I didn’t go to university. Didn’t even finish A-levels. But I have sympathy for those who did. ― Terry Pratchett

In ancient times cats were worshiped as gods; they have not forgotten this. ― Terry Pratchett

Here’s some advice boy. Don’t put your trust in revolutions. They always come around again. That’s why they’re called revolutions. ― Terry Pratchett

This isn’t life in the fast lane, it’s life in the oncoming traffic! ― Terry Pratchett

Dickens, as you know, never got round to starting his home page. ― Terry Pratchett

Sooner or later we’re all someone’s dog. ― Terry Pratchett

Evolution was far more thrilling to me than the biblical account. Who would not rather be a rising ape than a falling angel? To my juvenile eyes, Darwin was proved true every day. It doesn’t take much to make us flip back into monkeys again. ― Terry Pratchett

It is well known that a vital ingredient of success is not knowing that what you’re attempting can’t be done. ― Terry Pratchett

The intelligence of that creature known as a crowd is the square root of the number of people in it. ― Terry Pratchett

Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom. ― Terry Pratchett

The presence of those seeking the truth is infinite to be preferred to the presence of those who think they’ve found it. ― Terry Pratchett

Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages. ― Terry Pratchett

Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind. ― Terry Pratchett

If you are looking for the best order for Discworld reading, reading more about Best Suggested Terry Pratchett Discworld Reading Order [Best Update 2022].

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