Best National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation Quotes [2022]

Best National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation Quotes
  • MatthewDusQues

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation is a great way to get in the Christmas spirit as the holiday season nears. Living in the world where Christmas is coming, here are the Famous Christmas Vacation quotes to give you a great mood for the vacation. These different types of Christmas holiday quotes that have been about for years can really help anyone get into the spirit of the season.

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation Quotes

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation Quotes

Clark Griswald (Chevy Chase) is a hardworking father to two teenagers. He is determined to give his family a happy, traditional Christmas in NATIONAL LAMPOON’S. It can backfire when you add in his in-laws and a crazy cousin, especially Cousin Eddie.

It’s funny and a little bit silly, but it’s still a great movie. These are some fan favorites from National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.

“A lot of sap in here! Looks great. A little full. A lot of sap.” — Clark Griswold

“I think you’re forgetting how difficult it’s going to be having everybody at the house at the same time.” — Ellen Griswold

“Honey, they’re family—not strangers off the street.” — Clark Griswold

“Your mother waxes her upper lip?… Hmm doesn’t show.” — Clark Griswold

“Hallelujah! Holy s**t! Where’s the Tylenol?” — Clark Griswold

“I told you we should have gone to Hawaii!” — Rusty Griswold

“I didn’t go berserk, I simply solved a problem. We needed a coffin, uh, I mean, a tree.” — Clark Griswold

“Fixed the newel post!” — Clark Griswold

“You’re the last true family man.” — Bill

Hey kids, look! A deer!” — Clark Griswold

“Eat my road, Red Liver Lips!” — Clark Griswold

“I don’t want to spend the holidays dead!” — Ellen Griswold

“Clark! We’re stuck under a truck!” — Ellen Griswold

“I was just smelling…smiling! I was just blouse…browsing!” — Clark Griswold

“We’re kicking off our fun, old-fashioned family Christmas by heading out into the country in the old front-wheel drive sleigh to embrace the frosty majesty of the winter landscape and select that most important of Christmas symbols.” — Clark Griswold

“We’re not driving all the way out here so you can get one of those stupid ties with the Santa Clauses on it, are we Dad?” — Audrey Griswold

“No, I have one of those at home.” — Clark Griswold

“It wouldn’t be the Christmas shopping season if the stores were any less hooter-hotter! Than they are.” — Clark Griswold

“Can’t see the line, can ya, Russ?” — Clark Griswold

“I’ll, uh, park the cars, and check the luggage, and, uh…I’ll be outside for the season.” — Clark Griswold

“Think you might be overdoing it, Dad?” — Rusty Griswold

“Oops, a little knot here. You work on that.” — Clark Griswold

“Well, I don’t know what to say except it’s Christmas, and we’re all in misery.” — Ellen Griswold

“If you need any help, just give me a holler, I’ll be upstairs—asleep.” — Grandpa Clark

“Are you out here for a reason, or are you just avoiding the family?” — Ellen Griswold

“Is it plugged in?” — Ellen Griswold

“Dad, you taught me everything I know about exterior illumination.” — Clark Griswold

“The little lights are not twinkling.” — Grandpa Art

“Surprised, Eddie? If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised than I am right now.” — Clark Griswold

“I just can’t believe you’re actually standing here in my living room, Eddie.” — Clark Griswold

Relate: Best How The Grinch Stole Christmas Quotes [2022]

Best Christmas Vacation Quotes

Best Christmas Vacation Quotes

“Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?” — Clark Griswold

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!” — Clark Griswold

“Frank, honey, you were kidnapped!” — Mrs. Shirley

“Welcome to our home—what’s left of it.” — Ellen Griswold

“It’s the Christmas star. And that’s all that matters tonight. Not bonuses or gifts or turkeys or trees. See kids, it means something different to everybody. Now I know what it means to me.” — Clark Griswold

“Play ball!” — Aunt Bethany

“I did it.” — Clark Griswold

“Now, if you’ll excuse me—I’m in the middle of an important call… get me somebody…anybody.” — Frank Shirley

“Going for a new amateur recreational saucer sled land speed record—Clark W. Griswold Jr.!” — Clark Griswold

“Later, dudes!” — Clark Griswold

“Santa Claus! Uncle Clark, are you Santa Claus?” — Ruby Sue

“If you’re good, Santa knows it. And if you believe in him, and you believe in your mom and you believe in your dad—if you’ve been good all year round, Santa Claus is going to bring you something.” — Clark Griswold

“I love it here. You don’t got to put on your coat to go to the bathroom, and your house is always parked in the same place.” — Ruby Sue

“I can’t even afford to be an elf.” — Clark Griswold

“This isn’t charity, it’s family.” — Clark Griswold

“Is your house on fire, Clark?” — Aunt Bethany

“Is this the airport, Clark?” — Aunt Bethany

“I love riding in cars!” — Aunt Bethany

“When did you move to Florida?” — Aunt Bethany

“Mom? This box is meowing.” — Rusty Griswold

“Grace? She passed away 30 years ago!” — Aunt Bethany

“Here’s the heart.” — Clark Griswold

Hey kids, I heard on the news that an airline pilot spotted Santa’s sled on its way in from New York.” — Clark Griswold

“Hey, Gris, if you’re not doing anything constructive, run into the living room, get my stogy.” — Uncle Lewis

“He’s old. This may be his last Christmas.” — Ellen Griswold

“If he keeps it up, it will be his last Christmas.” — Clark Griswold

“Hey! If any of you are looking for any last minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I’d like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head.” — Clark Griswold

“What is it? A letter confirming your reservation at the nuthouse?” — Grandpa Art“Not recently, Clark, he read that squirrels were high on cholesterol.” — Catherine

“SQUIRREL!” — Grandpa Clark

“I can’t just attack someone.” — Todd Chester

“We’re going to have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f***ing Kaye!” — Clark Griswold

“I had a lot of help from Jack Daniels.” — Grandpa Clark

“It’s your house, it’s your Christmas, I’m retiring.” — Grandpa Clark

“Yes, officer? It seems my husband has been abducted. The man was wearing a blue leisure suit.” — Mrs. Shirley

Cousin Eddie Christmas Vacation Quotes

Cousin Eddie Christmas Vacation Quotes

“That thing had nine lives—she just spent them all!” — Cousin Eddie

“You better take a rain check on that, Art—he’s got a lip fungus they ain’t identified yet.” — Cousin Eddie

“That’s a honey of a tree, Clark.” — Cousin Eddie

“Here’s a little list – alphabetical, starting with Catherine.” — Cousin Eddie

“Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas, Clark! You about ready to do some kissing?” — Cousin Eddie

“You serious, Clark?” — Cousin Eddie

“Clark, that’s the gift that keeps on giving the whole year.” — Cousin Eddie

“Yeah, I got the daughter in the clinic getting cured off the wild turkey.” — Cousin Eddie

“I don’t know if I ought to go sailing down no hill with nothing between the ground and my brain but a piece of government plastic.” — Cousin Eddie

“He’s cute, ain’t he? The only problem is, he’s got a little bit of Mississippi leg hound in him. Mood catches him right, he’ll grab your leg and just go to town. You don’t want him around if you’re wearing short pants if know what I mean!” — Cousin Eddie

Great Quotes From Christmas Vacation

Quotes From Christmas Vacation

“Wouldn’t be the holiday shopping season if the stores weren’t hooter than they are—hotter than they are.” – Clark Griswold

“Dad, didn’t they invent Christmas tree lots so people wouldn’t have to drive all the way out to nowhere and waste an entire Saturday?” -Rusty

“I was just looking at something for my wife, God rest her soul.” – Clark Griswold

“Oh, the silent majesty of a winter’s morn; the clean, cool chill of the holiday air; and an assh*le in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer.” – Clark Griswold

“You couldn’t hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.” – Uncle Lewis

Hey Griswold, where do you think you’re gonna put a tree that big?” – Todd Chester

“Where do you think you’re going? Nobody’s leaving. Nobody’s walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We’re all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here.” — Clark

“Worse?! How could things get any worse? Take a look around you, Ellen! We’re at the threshold of hell!!” – Clark

“Clark, Audrey’s frozen from the waist down.” – Ellen Griswold

“I hope nobody I know drives by and sees me standing in the yard staring at the house in my pajamas.” — Audrey

“And why is the carpet all wet, Todddddd?” – Margo Chester

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Keywords: funny national lampoon Christmas vacation quotes, quotes Christmas vacation, best quotes from Christmas vacation

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